Another Bag Kitty

Sometimes I let Zephyr have a turn in the bag. We're sure having a lot of fun with this paper bag. It's a good thing too - it's keeping my mind off the fact that they haven't let me out even one time since wednesday.

Bag Kitty

Ahhhhhhhh, I love my paper bag. It's especially fun when I hide in it and then Zephyr jumps on it. So good. So fun. I'm kind of "grounded" again for awhile after my "adventure" the other day. It's not that they think they can teach me a lesson (ha! I laugh at that), it's just that they can't deal with worrying about me right now. But I have my bag, so I'm pretty happy. I heard that they're going to be working in the garden today, so I WILL BE OUT THERE. One way or another I will make sure that I am helping. They need my help! And I need to be outside chasing butterflies, walking the top of the fence and snoozing in the shade.

I'm Back

Seems like the peeps and Zephyr were worried about me, but I just came strolling in like being gone more than 13 hours was no big deal. I think I'll leave them wondering where I was just to mess with them. It was pretty exciting being out after dark, but I don't think I'll make a habit of it. I like my days of going in and out and in and out and in and out and spending my evenings playing and snoozing inside.

Mesage frum Zefur

It's getting dark in the big Outside.

Come home, Moozy.

Mesage frum Zefur

Moozet has been in the big bad Outside for 12 hours. Right through brekfast, lunch, dinner and all the snax and snoozes. I'm worried. The peeps are worried. She always comes home for the food and the drinks and the sleeps and the peep-patting.

Come home, Moo. We miss you.

Bags = Fun

My peeps don't think it's "safe" for me to play with plastic bags. Ha! Like I would do anything to endanger the life of the Empress! Plastic bags are safe and FUN, so I get kind of mad when they make me stop playing with them.

Other things that are safe and FUN:
dogs
electrical cords
elastic bands
bees
screws
houseplants
the window blinds
strangers in the street

Supervisor - The Most Important Job

My fleshies spent most of their Sunday working in the yard. They sure dug some really gigantic holes. I was hoping for a giant outdoor litterbox for me, but then they started to bring in the wheelbarrows full of gravel. Oh well, that gravel will be fun too, I suppose.

The World's Ugliest Dog

If you can handle it*, here's a picture of Sam, who was recently chosen "The World's Ugliest Dog." For the third time in a row. Personally, I think all dogs are pretty aesthetically displeasing. But Sam is definitely in a class by himself.

* I'm serious, this photo may give me nightmares. Which is troubling, because I sleep a lot.

Summer in the grass!

I love summer when the grass starts to dry out and it scritches so good on my back when I roll on it.

Say, that was tasty.

No More Foster Kitties

We don't have foster kitties anymore. No, it's not because the Girl can't take it - it was only Acorn that got her so loopy, it's because Zephyr is FILLED WITH GERMS. Yep, contagious that boy is. Crawling with cooties. He didn't get his kitten shots (being a wild kitten with no fleshies to look out for you will do that to you) so now he has Chlamydia (that makes the male human snicker for some reason) and that gives him chronic conjunctivitis. What does this all mean, you ask? Oh go look it up yourself. Oh - too lazy you say? That's alright - I'm a cat - I understand lazy. Well basically it just means that sometimes his eyes look really gross and red and runny and goopy and he sneezes and snuffles and needs eye cream off and on. Luckilly I had all my kitten shots so I won't get it, but any foster kitties could, so now it's just the 2 of us. And that's how I like it.

Spay and neuter your pets, people. I can't say it often enough. No little kitten should have to fend for himself and his sisters in the big germ-filled and scary world.

Foster Kitties

This is Acorn. She was one of the foster kittens from last summer. The Girl loved this dumb kitten SO VERY much. She cried and cried when Acorn and her brother and sister had to go back to the SPCA so they could find their own peeps. That kitten surely wasn't staying here. I HATED that stupid kitten and was glad to see her and her kind get out of my house. The Girl still gets a little sad when she thinks about Acorn and she hopes that whatever family she has is as good to her as my family is to me. Even though I was disgusted by the very thought of Acorn and the all the other foster kitties living in MY basement, I do hope they all found themselves homes where they are never yelled at or hurt or humiliated, that they get lots of pats and scritches when they want them and some sweet sweet canned food at least once in awhile. All felines deserve to be treated like royalty and nothing makes the Empress sadder 'n madder than hearing about someone mistreating a cat!

Spay and neuter your pets, people.

Want to know a secret? The Girl still checks the SPCA website every week to make sure Acorn hasn't been returned. She says if she ever sees Acorn there she will be going to get her immediately and I'll just have to learn to deal with it. She says she shouldn't have ever let Acorn go in the first place and the thought of her in a cage at the SPCA is too much for her to even think about.

The Girl is sure a sap. But at least that makes her a soft touch when I'm trying to get something from her.

Kitty Love

Since you all liked the last picture of me and Zephyr getting comfy in the cat bed I thought I'd post another. Before we got the fur brother my Peeps really wondered if I would ever get along with another cat. Last spring and summer we had foster cats and kittens from the SPCA in the basement suite and I HATED! THEM! SO! MUCH! I AM the Empress after all and usually I think all other cats should stay far far away from me and anything I think is mine (which includes all my stuff, my beds, my toys, my Peeps, my yard and almost all the yards on this block). But I really liked Zeph right away for some reason and by the third day he was here we were snuggling in the cat bed. Maybe hidden deep behind all my surly attitude, hissing and growling there is that "maternal instinct" they talk about. Or maybe Zephyr is just so dopey you can't help but like him.

The Girl

I've been celebrating the female human's return by going in and out and in and out and in and out ALL DAY LONG. She doesn't like this quite as much as I do, but so far she's cooperating. I must admit it is pretty good to have her back home. I keep forgetting that I'm supposed to be ignoring her and I've been getting lots of snuggles. That's not usually my way... Turns out she was visiting The Grandma and spent the whole week patting other cats! Other cats! I know because all her stuff is covered in black fur and it smells really weird. Maybe that's why I've been so snuggly since she got back - I'm just trying to cover her in her usual layer of Empress fur!

The Girl's back in town

I'm very pleased to have her back after a long week away. Now I can go outside for hours at a time and tend to all my projects. As a matter of fact, I was so excited to have her back that when she returned, instead of hissing at her, I simply ignored her. I'm sure she appreciated such loving kindness.

I hope The Girl gets back into town before her hydrangea stops blooming. . .

We don't always get along this well. But we usually do.

Kitties: 1, Spiders: 0

Last night Zephyr and I were downstairs and we found the largest spider we've ever seen. We toyed with it for awhile, pulled off a couple legs, then left the corpse in the middle of the room. We considered eating it, but this was one big spider and we knew we had that can of tuna 'n egg waiting for us in the morning.

I am Zephyr, hear me roar!

(Actually, he's just yawning. But he thinks this photo makes him look fierce. I'll let him have his little illusions. . .)

What I do when I'm trapped in the house

I guess having to stay inside isn't all bad. . .

Monday Morning Bringdown

Well. The Girl is apparently out of town for awhile. That means I stay inside all day long.

I am not amused.

Zephyr doesn't mind, of course. He's never been outside this house for more than a minute, and that one excursion was closely supervised. He doesn't seem to know what he's missing anyway. That's probably for the best. A simple lad like Zeph could get eaten alive out in the real world. Literally. It makes me sad to even think of that possibility. . . he's better off staying inside. I mean, if we were outside and some neighbourhood toughs tried to start a rumble, I'd protect him and all. But what if he got jumped when I was napping in a neighbour's garden and I didn't hear him calling me (Zephyr's roar sounds like this: "meep")? You're best off as an indoor cat, brother.

As for me, I'm going to let my anger and resentment fester for just a bit, and we'll see where that takes me.

This creature is really kind of disturbing me now. Her eyes follow me all over the living room. . .

I'm trying to ignore you, sock monkey. . .