Musette, Empress of the Universe

Merry Christmas to All my Loyal Subjects

2007-01-02T12:56:00.000-08:00

Ahhhh, Christmas time was good here at the Empress household. Santa Claws brought lots of good things for the felines and the fleshies broke out the goat cheese for some fine festive snacking. My heartfelt wish for my very own goat for the backyard was ignored, but maybe next year...

As for New Years Resolutions I think I'll go with three...

1) Be more demanding.

2) Refuse to let those chumps tell me what to do.

3) Find a way to subvert their bizarre need to vacuum.

Creeps me out, man.

2006-11-27T11:17:00.000-08:00

Something happened overnight and I can't quite put my finger on what's different outside

2006-11-27T11:05:00.000-08:00

Fence! Fence! Fence!

2006-10-17T17:43:00.000-07:00

It was a genuinely exciting weekend for us all. Zephyr could only watch from the window (that's his view in the first photo), but I got to be outside to see the construction of a new fence in my backyard! The peeps must know some secrets about Uncle Glen that he doesn’t want the world to know about, if you catch my drift. Otherwise, I can’t imagine why he would devote two full days (at least 16 solid hours) of hard labour to helping the fleshies without presenting them with an invoice for his services at the end of the weekend. I don’t know about you, but I won’t do anything unless there’s some sort of payoff for me. But that’s just my style. I don’t like the new fence. The old rickety one was much easier to pass through into our neighbour’s yard. But I have my ways. No fence can ever be the boss of me!

The Empress Returns!

2006-10-16T08:24:00.000-07:00

Well, it’s been more than a couple months since yours truly has posted a real blog entry. What has the Empress been up to, you ask? This has been the nature of my activities in August and September:
1. Sleep in the cat-bed.
2. Ask to go outside.
3. Sleep outside.
4. Ask to come inside.
5. Eat.
6. Repeat above in various combinations.

And what of my stocky fur-brother, Zephyr? Oh, he’s had adventure after adventure. Here’s a photo of him enjoying the warmth of a shaft of sunlight. That was a pretty exciting day for him. He still talks about it.

But he's had other adventures too. A few weeks ago, this strange ginger cat came up to our kitchen door and virtually demanded that Zephyr come out and play. Now, Zephy is a bit of a fraidy-feline, but he’s always been open to meeting new cats. He tends to assume a new cat is a potential new friend. I’m not as trusting as him, but he’s an indoors-dweller. He’s not as possessive of our yard as I am. However, the peeps won’t let Zephyr out, and they didn’t think it right to let a stranger in (probably because they knew I would have a fit), so the two of them just stared at each other longingly for awhile until the fluffy stranger went on his merry way.

And I'd tell more (wait'll you hear how happy the Door Opener is about her new fence!) if I was able to attach any more photos to this post. But I'm just not able to. I guess you get what you pay for. Boo, Blogger, boo.

More to come soon, when I can more easily produce some images to accompany my words.

Is a Hamlet a kitty-sized portion of Ham?

2006-10-06T14:47:00.000-07:00

If so, then I'm only starting to understand what this is all about. . .

Thought For The Day (Or Month, As The Case May Be)

2006-09-11T14:50:00.000-07:00

Goodness, I love cheese.

Too Hot!

2006-07-30T19:58:00.000-07:00

Last week it was TOO HOT here.

We're rainforest kitties and aren't used to the hot hot temperatures. We were doing anything we could to try and stay cool. Zephyr stretched himself out on the tile on the bathroom floor and just stayed there for days and I tried out every possible position and place to try and catch a breeze. The catbed was WAY TOO HOT, but I did find this pile of boxes which just happened to be dead centre under a fan. It was hard to get comfy, but it was a little cooler. We're all glad the cool temperatures are back - the Door Opener and I are less crabby and Zephyr is a little more zippy.

One Month

2006-07-25T12:58:00.000-07:00

One month ago Zephyr had his "incident" . Zephyr has long been back to his usual strange self, but the Door Opener has this wicked-cool scar on her wrist to remember it by. Look! You can see where each and every one of Zephyr's sharp little fangs went into her tender arm. I'm not saying it was the RIGHT thing to do, and I'd certainly never do it, but I bet it felt REALLY GOOD. I used to bite a lot when I was a kitten, and even though I'm more civilized now and never ever use my teeth on the fleshies, I still remember it fondly. Besides - the girl looks TOUGH with that scar so she shouldn't be complaining.

Whereupon The Door Opener Returns From Her Trip And Is So Pleased That Everyone Is Well, She Brings Zephyr A Treat of Fresh Cat-Grass

2006-07-12T18:45:00.000-07:00

Please take me with you!

2006-07-03T22:48:00.000-07:00

Oh, Door Opener, must you leave for a one-week trip? Sure, I can understand why you'd want a break from Zephyr, what with all the trouble he's caused you lately. But think of me! When you're at home, I can generally come and go inside and outside as I please. When it's only the Can Opener at home, I get more ornery. Yes, he does allow me to go outside, but he doesn't have the revolving door policy that I've trained you to adopt. I just know it's going to be a stressful week for me.

Please won't you consider taking me with you?

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(Meanwhile, Zephyr is well and is spending a lot of time on this stool. He thanks his friends for their concern. Turns out that hat was just something the peeps found in a thrift shop.)

Zephyr and Axl Rose: Soul Brothers?

2006-06-29T10:56:00.000-07:00

Associated Press, June 27, 2006: In Stockholm, Sweden at eight o'clock in the morning, a drunk Axl Rose "allegedly" bit the leg of a security guard who confronted him while he was arguing with a woman.

Associated Puss, June 25, 2006: In our yard, at midnight, a temporarily insane Zephyr, having escaped from the house and rendered berzerk from fear and confusion, bit his two favourite fleshies several times on the hands and arms while they tried to capture him and return him to his home. Powerful antibiotics have reduced the dangerous swelling and infection that resulted from this.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

In completely unrelated news, I haven't seen Zephyr around the house lately, but the fleshies have this awesome new hat!

My Neighbour Totoro

2006-06-25T14:09:00.000-07:00

Have you ever seen the movie My Neighbor Totoro? My fleshies really really like this movie. The think it's charming and lovely and sweet and well made and all that. I don't care much for the television in general, and the movie is in Japanese with subtitles and I can't read, so the only part I'm really into is the Nekobus (that's Catbus to you and I). So very cool. It's a cat. And it's a bus. What more could you want?

The Big Two!

2006-06-15T17:26:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, Fur Brother!

Yep, that's right folks, our very own Zephyr turns the big TWO today. You can see by the picture how he chose to celebrate. As for myself I'd pick a gigantic fun-and-treat-and-special-guest filled party, but he's more for zoning out in the catbed. Whatever the Zeph wants on his birthday, the Zeph gets. We're all just glad he's feeling better... It's been a total pukefest around here for awhile. I'm feeling fine, but Zephyr was tossing his kibble a couple of times every day and even had to go see the nice Vet and have some not-so-nice pills hidden in some tuna juice. Like every good feline he seemed instinctually drawn to the white carpet in the living room. Good boy! It was fun to watch the girl scrubbing the carpet and muttering to herself. We were all worried about him though and are glad he's back to as normal as that cat ever gets. Even though I growl and hiss at him every single day, I'd miss him if he was gone. There's no one better for snuggling, he's fun to play with, he's good at sharing (I am NOT) and he never takes any of my moods personally.

Happy Birthday, Zephyr!

A Secret...

2006-06-03T10:38:00.000-07:00

Come close my friends, I want to tell you a secret. Now don't tell anyone, but your Empress has a FRIEND. No, no, no, don't get carried away! I wouldn't describe him as my BOYFRIEND (like my peeps do when they're teasing me), but we are getting pretty friendly. And yes, this is coming from the cat who told you that she HATES ALL NON-FAMILY FELINES. This is a picture of him at our back door waiting for me to come out and play. Sometimes we even sing to each other if we're apart. We like to frolic in the long grass together and sleep under the bushes. Sometimes when my fleshies call me to come inside he's the first one to show up and he really thinks he'd like to be invited inside to have some pats from the humans, some treats and to check out all my good snoozing spots. Isn't he handsome? Doesn't he have a dashing red collar?

It's In The Bag

2006-05-30T07:58:00.000-07:00

The Can Opener recently picked up some items at a Japanese import store where every single item costs $2.00. This package of "present bags" was his favourite purchase. He feels that the sentiment expressed on these bags really sums up my world-view.

Sometimes I really don't understand him.

Rain Rain Go Away

2006-05-23T08:33:00.000-07:00

Well, I knew that sunshine couldn't last...I'm just happy I have a fur brother to keep me warm when the weather turns cold and wet. I feel bad for all the kitties that are outside today and have no home to call their own. Nothing sadder than a feline who needs a family. But I don't want them to come here. NO MORE KITTIES. Do you hear me, Door Opener? Not even one more. I was gracious and friendly when you brought home our Zephyr, but THAT'S IT. NO MORE.

Cute?

2006-05-18T16:56:00.000-07:00

I hate kittens. I really really do. I hope to never have to endure another kitten in my life again. I don't really like ANY other cats except Zeph, but I have a particular dislike for kittens. When we had foster kittens at my house I had a lot of trouble being civil. Vile puny little creatures. That's why I just don't get that the Door Opener thinks that there's nothing cuter than a bucketful of kittens. There's nothing cuter than ME. End of discussion.

Feline Superhighway

2006-05-09T12:17:00.000-07:00

I don't think I've ever told you about the super fences in my garden! They have these great cat-paw-sized boards all along them so that I can run almost all the way around my territory without ever touching the ground. It's a perfect way to check for intruders, see what's new and generally have a lot of fun zipping along them. The squirrels like to run along them too...someday I'll catch one, I swear! My complete and unrelenting hatred of squirrels is a post for another day... The fences also help me get easily into the yards on either side of us, which I think should be mine too. But not the yard behind us - that's Moxie's and I respect her boundaries. Well....I mostly respect her boundaries. Both of us think that the warm and sunny shed roof should be ours and ours alone. We haven't worked out a compromise on that one yet and a few times a year there's a standoff.

Fun!

2006-05-04T11:13:00.000-07:00

Look at me having loads of fun outside! Spring is GREAT. The fleshies think the morning glory vines are weeds, but I think they are fabulous cat toys! And don't I look TOUGH with that fang hanging out? Oh yeah. I'm BAD.

It's Good to be OUTSIDE

2006-04-30T10:02:00.000-07:00

This used to be my favourite spot in the garden, and I still like that spot a lot, but my NEW favourite spot is this one. The fleshies piled up some old stepping stones and a big piece of driftwood in the corner under the lilac. They want to use them soon for some silly "project" but I want them to stay just exactly where they are. It's perfect for claw sharpening, rolling around, bird watching and napping. I can even watch the action from this spot when the Door Opener mows the lawn. I'm far enough away for it to be safe and not too noisy, but close enough to see everything that happens. I love it when the girl mows the lawn because all the robins in the neighbourhood come to perch on the fence and snack on the bugs that she stirs up. And we all know how much affection I have for robins. Ohhhh...especially the sweet and tender baby robins. Oh how I want to take them all back to my special spot and...cuddle...them.

Spring!

2006-04-26T13:37:00.000-07:00

I'm so glad that the sun is shining and my peeps are finally starting to perk up! The last couple of weeks things were pretty weird around the House of Musette. The girl was really sick and sad and the boy was worried about the girl and sad too. The Door Opener spent all day every day on the couch and she even complained about me wanting to go in and out and in and out and in and out. Usually she doesn't complain at all and just does my bidding all day (as she should). I tried to make the girl feel a bit better by spending a lot of time snuggling her on the couch - even Zephyr got in on it a few times and he's NOT a snuggler. I know what it's like to be sick...not fun. Those fleshies suspect that we both just really like to nap on the supersoft and cozy blankie that the girl likes when she's not well, but REALLY...it was all about the love! So now the Door Opener is off the couch and we've all been out in the garden doing some serious work. The sun feels great and it's good for me to be helpful! I don't know how they'd ever get anything done out there without me!

Zephyr: A Photographic Tribute, Part 3

2006-04-21T22:49:00.000-07:00

You can't see it in the artful blur, but Zephyr loves this duvet. It's almost as soft and plush as he is.

Happy Blogiversary To Me!

2006-04-17T11:12:00.000-07:00

Yes, today is the one-year anniversary of my blog's first post. And what a fabulous year it's been, my friends. 163 posts and a whole heap of fun. Many thanks to those who've made "Musette, Empress of the Universe" so special. Namely, ME and occasionally Zephyr.

But thanks also go to you, dearest readers! It wouldn't be the same if I knew nobody was reading (though I'd still probably do this anyway. My posts would simply be a whole lot angrier).

For you latecomers, here's just a taste of of what you've missed in the past year (other than the glorious photographs - and let me tell you, there's some real treasures in the archives, if I do say so myself).

The Best Of Musette

How I Found My Home: The Complete Saga

I Hiss At Plants

My Enemies List, 2005

List of Things I Love, 2005

List of Things Zephyr is Afraid Of

List of Things That Are Safe And Fun To Play With

The Rules

The rest, I leave you to discover on your own. C'mon, what are you waiting for? It's not like you have anything better to do!

Thanks to Uncle Glen for the illustration of me 'n Zephyr! The peeps think it captures our personalities nicely. As to that, I say, "Hmmph."

Zephyr: A Photographic Tribute, Part 2

2006-04-15T09:37:00.000-07:00

Wreathed in light, like the sweet angel he is.

(Did I really write that? I must not be well. . .)

Zephyr: A Photographic Tribute, Part 1

2006-04-13T13:37:00.000-07:00

King of the jungle. Always on guard. Tolerant of high places.

Kitty Love

2006-04-03T09:53:00.000-07:00

Who says cats can't be good friends?

(sometimes)

Tasks Successfully Completed, March 2006

2006-03-28T08:13:00.000-08:00

So what's the Empress been up to, you ask? This is what I've been up to. As long as The Door Opener has a pair of legs and a blanket, I'll have a place to nap.

At least until summer comes. Then she's too hot for me.

I Win!

2006-03-14T09:17:00.000-08:00

The table in the studio is THE best place in the house to nap. It's almost always nice and warm with a big spot of sunshine to relax in, it's often covered with warm and comfy things to sleep on and it freaks the peeps out because they think I'm going to hurt myself on their "stuff". Ha. I just want to snooze in the sun. Pathetic worrying fleshies. I have no interest in your pins and needles and assorted pokeables and chokeables. Just let an Empress sleep where an Empress wants to sleep! Nowhere should be off-limits to me! Sometimes I win though and they forget to lock that door and if I can manage to look cute enough then they don't lift me down and show me the door immediately. I've been working on my sweet and innocent, oh-so-cute face for years now and my fleshies fall for it again and again. Stupid fleshies.

So Very Offensive

2006-03-10T10:38:00.000-08:00

It's NOT supposed to snow here, ESPECIALLY in March.

Happy Anniversary?

2006-03-06T16:48:00.000-08:00

This weekend the peeps celebrated the time one year ago when they went to Mexico for two weeks and left us home alone. Well, we weren't really alone, we had Uncle Glen to feed us, play with us, give us scritches and sleep with us at night and he did a fine job, but I don't know why the peeps would want to celebrate the anniversary of when they abandoned us so they could go have fun. Oh...I suppose it could also have something to do with the fact that they got married then too. But I wasn't invited so I'm not going to celebrate. The boy bought the girl lilies and ginger and I REALLY want to sniff them, but every time I jump up there I get shooed away and when they go out or go to bed they lock the flowers up. I just want to smell that heavenly smell! Just because every other flower or plant that has come into this house I've considered a salad bar, doesn't mean this time will be the same.

So Very Boring

2006-02-28T10:33:00.000-08:00

Life is pretty dull these days. Spring isn't really here yet, so I'm having a good long nap until the sun comes back out.

It's Good to Have a Fur Brother

2006-02-24T11:31:00.000-08:00

Sometimes the peeps wonder what Zephyr and I are looking at when we stare out the window like this. There are SO MANY good things to see out there - birds of all kinds including little twerpy sparrows and chickadees and big raucous crows, tasty squirrels, little poodly mop dogs (we hate those dogs), crazy neighbours, cats both friend and foe, the nice mailman who always talks to me, kids (Zephyr is scared of kids...I can't really blame him) and things blowing in the wind, just to name a few.

But Who Will Think of The Kittens?!

2006-02-24T10:48:00.000-08:00

I'm glad we live in a civilized time.

"Athanasius Kircher first described the cat piano in his landmark 1650 work Musurgia Universalis.

In order to raise the spirits of an Italian prince burdened by the cares of his position, a musician created for him a cat piano. The musician selected cats whose natural voices were at different pitches and arranged them in cages side by side, so that when a key on the piano was depressed, a mechanism drove a sharp spike into the appropriate cat’s tail. The result was a melody of meows that became more vigorous as the cats became more desperate. Who could not help but laugh at such music? Thus was the prince raised from his melancholy."

Courtesy of the strange folk at the Athanasius Kircher Society

Even My Feet Are Gorgeous

2006-02-21T18:58:00.000-08:00

Every single part of my furry self is cute cute cute, don't you think? Even my feet, which are as sweet and pink as my nose. Even though I go outside I keep my white paws spotless and I spend a lot of time grooming between my toes. The Girl gives me a manicure every once in awhile...that I DON'T like. How dare she blunt my extra-pointy and oh-so-dangerous claws like that?

So Helpful

2006-02-11T14:22:00.000-08:00

I absolutely love to help with projects. The girl has been very busy lately and I've been helping her a lot. She always says I'm very helpful, but then she makes me move. That's a little confusing for me, so I just ignore her and get right back up and get ready to do my part. I'm not quite sure what we're making here, but I'm doing a fabulous job of holding down the fabric and adding some extremely special cat fur embellishments.

Why not Ed?

2006-02-06T10:05:00.000-08:00

This is Zephyr. You all know Zephyr - he's my fur brother. I wanted to name him Lonny or maybe Percy or even Ed, but the girl wanted to call him Zephyr long before she even knew him. The boy decided he'd better agree to name the cat Zephyr or she might decide she wanted to use it for a miniature human instead someday. It's cruel enough for a cat name, I think. Anyway, to get to my point, whenever I spellcheck a post, it doesn't think Zephyr is a word. It suggests I change Zephyr to Zipper. Ha! Now that's funny! Zephyr is one of the least zippy cats in the universe. He has perfected the art and science of relaxation and he does it better than any feline I know (yours truly included). He naps. He snoozes. He lounges. He sleeps. He rests. He nods off. He meditates. He drowses. He gets some shut-eye. He slumbers. He dozes. He has siestas. He goes into trance-like states. He has much quality leisure time with the cat bed. But very very rarely does he ZIP.

I Tried

2006-01-31T19:10:00.000-08:00

I tried my best, but it was all in vain, I just couldn't stop them from closing up the suitcase and getting in the car. The peeps left Zephyr and I ALONE for a whole 39 1/2 hours. Somebody (I won't say who) showed them how they felt about it by peeing on the bathmat. I'm not saying I endorse this type of behaviour, but I do agree that SOMETHING needed to be done to let those fleshies know how much we don't like it when they leave. Sure sure, they leave us with lots of food and water and clean litter and all the other so-called necessities of life, but what of body heat in bed? Head scritches when we need them? Blanket covered legs? The fireplace?

When they came back I really wanted to snub them to teach them a lesson, but I couldn't resist the girl's lap. Next time I won't be so weak.

My Nemesis

2006-01-24T13:46:00.000-08:00

This is Moxie. I HATE MOXIE SO MUCH. She lives in the house behind ours and she should just stay where I can never see her and things would be a lot better. Sometimes we both sit in our upstairs windows and just glare at each other. Sometimes she sits on our back fence like this just to torment me and she's always trying to get to the warm shed roof in our mutual neighbours yard before me so that she can claim that sun-warmed spot before I do. Occasionally she even makes her way into MY VERY OWN YARD and poops in our flowerbeds. That's just too much to bear! Luckily she's a huge, slow cat and she's not interested in fighting, so it never gets beyond staring contests and a little growling. Don't think I couldn't take her - I could...I just don't want to. Zephyr thinks Moxie looks interesting. If he were let out he'd probably PLAY with her. Zephyr just doesn't really get this whole "being a cat" thing.

More! More! More!

2006-01-17T13:15:00.000-08:00

Can't get enough of the pictures of yours truly (and sometimes Zephyr)? Just for you, my faithful readers, I've created a photo page at flickr, so you can admire my loveliness as much as you want to (which I know is A LOT). What are you waiting for - click over there in the sidebar and get started oohing and aaahing!

Rain, Rain, Go Away

2006-01-13T14:35:00.000-08:00

My life is soooooooooooooooo boring right now. I need spring to come NOW because I'm tired of being wet and cold. The Door Opener heard on the news that it has rained here every single day since December 18th. That's TWENTY-SEVEN days for those of you whose walnut-sized brains can't or won't do that math. I'm pretty mad about it and wish I knew who I could hiss at to make the sun come out. For awhile I suspected the fleshies, but now that I see that they're pretty crabby about the rain too, maybe I have to look further afield for the culprit. The Girl wanted to take a picture of me yesterday when I came in all soaking wet with my fur sticking up all over but I wouldn't let her. How undignified! You'd much rather see me well-groomed and looking glamourous, wouldn't you?

Maybe it's the Dadaist in me. . .

2006-01-11T12:19:00.000-08:00

I've never been a huge fan of Garfield, though I have previously noted the resemblance between "America's favorite cartoon cat" and my favourite fur brother. But somehow I find the Garfield Randomizer even more funny than the daily strip. Is it just me?

If only I had thumbs...

2006-01-06T11:06:00.000-08:00

I know how doors work, now if only I could get these beautiful but sometimes less-than-functional paws of mine to turn that knob! Then I wouldn't have to rely on the Door Opener to let me in and out and in and out and in and out as many times as I want to. Mostly she does a tolerable job, but I do tend to get some bad attitude from her sometimes. She thinks she was put on this earth to be something more than a cat servant, but I whole-heartedly disagree. She is here to open the door, keep my water bowl full, adore me and be a good source of heat when I'm cold and that's all!

A Cheap Christmas Present

2006-01-01T13:34:00.000-08:00

Better late than never, we say. Just when the peeps were thinking we went another year without getting them a Christmas present, the two of us decided to spend a couple of hours curled up on the blanketed legs of the Door Opener while she watched the television. Now, I do this on occasion, but it's not Zephyr's thing AT ALL (I had to talk him into it), so a double-kitty snuggle was most appreciated.

Happy Mew Year!

2006-01-01T13:25:00.000-08:00

The Empress wishes all her faithful readers and friends the happiest of new years! As for Zephyr and me, our resolution is to spend more time in the cat bed by the window. We're off to a good start.

Christmas Wrapped-Up

2005-12-28T21:12:00.000-08:00

So how was Christmas at the home of the Empress, you ask? Just fabulous, thanks very much! Santa filled most of my requests (I guess the monkey's on order for next year), and Zephyr and I have enjoyed playing with our many new mousies and the big spider on the string with bells at the ends of its legs. We also received some nice treats and I managed to sample some delectable goat cheese over the weekend. Simply divine!

Our big present was a leopard-print kitty cave, a black-lined tunnel that's soft and comfy and just the right size to hide or rest in. We've been enjoying it at those times when we need to escape from the hustle and bustle of daily life, if only for a moment.

I had a shock a couple days ago when I heard some horrifying sounds that made me think somebody was torturing poor Zephyr. I ran into the living room only to see The Can Opener had commenced learning to play the guitar he received for Christmas. Something tells me that things are going to get much worse before they get better, when it comes to that lousy thing.

Christmas is long over, but Zephyr still enjoys laying under the tree. He's going to miss it when it's gone. Not me, though. When the tree's disposed of, he can go back to being his usual unphotogenic self, and I can once again assume my position as the cat that gets photographed the most.

Waiting for Santa

2005-12-24T21:35:00.000-08:00

Uh-Oh

2005-12-24T12:23:00.000-08:00

This is us enjoying the warmth of the fire and the glow of the Christmas tree last night. The Grandma is here and she didn't bring Belle and Oscar and we're very glad for that. We can hardly wait for Christmas! I've been SO VERY GOOD that I know Santa will be extra good to me this year...

Zephyr hasn't been so good. Last night after the peeps and I went to bed Zeph stayed up and undecorated the bottom half of the Christmas tree. The garland went all the way to the front door and there were FIVE ornaments off the tree, including some very breakable ones! He chewed the plastic hanger off of one of the ornaments and we're assuming he ate it. I think I need to amend my letter to Santa after this...

Dearest Santa,

As you know I have been a FABULOUS kitty this year and am looking forward to some fine presents from you tomorrow. I just wanted to let you know that IT WASN'T ME! I was snuggling with the girl in bed while all that tree undecorating was going on. I would like some gourmet wet food ('cause I deserve it), some kitty treats, a mousie with a tail, something leopard-print, a tiny monkey and anything else a great cat like me deserves. With Zephyr, use your own judgment...

You're the best, Santa.

Lots of Sandpaper Kisses,
Musette

What a GREAT idea!

2005-12-23T17:35:00.000-08:00

The Can Opener brought this home from a Christmas party and I SO WANT TO DO THIS!!! The peeps don't think it's a good idea, but I can't wait! If you can't read the package, here's what it says...

"To our friends,

The people of Scandinavia traditionally feed
the birds on Christmas Day to
ensure good luck throughout the coming year.
Spread this seed on your doorstep
Christmas Morning for New Year's good
luck!"

Maybe I'm Scandinavian and didn't even know it! I can't wait until all kinds of sweet feathered friends are congregating on our doorstep Christmas morning to eat the birdseed! What a great present for me that will be and it will bring me luck, too!

My Christmas Gift To You

2005-12-22T13:13:00.000-08:00

Many a PHD thesis has been written on the greatness of The Jingle Cats, and I don't have anything new to add to the discourse. So here's a song from their sophomore album that encapsulates The Jingle Cats at their best. "Here Comes Santa Claus" is a jaunty tune that avoids the maudlin sentimentality of the few mediocre songs in the Jingle Cats oeuvre. It even has a verse or two of "Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel" in the middle! Why? I don't know! I do know that I would prefer that that part wasn't sung by a dog. Jerk probably strong-armed his way into the studio. But it's still a classic tune.

Click here to listen to Jingle Cats - Here Comes Santa Claus.mp3 (or right-click to Save)

No Catnip Necessary

2005-12-18T11:49:00.000-08:00

This is what the Christmas lights look like if you run by them VERY VERY VERY fast.

The Tree

2005-12-17T07:39:00.000-08:00

Zephyr can't wait to help decorate the Christmas tree! The peeps are going to go get it later today and we've got all the garlands and fine breakables ready to go. The fleshies always put some plastic "cat ornaments" on the bottom of the tree, but we much prefer to stretch waaaaaaaay up and bat at a glass one. We're good though - last year we didn't break a single ornament and nobody climbed the tree! Mostly we just like to alter our consciousness by sitting under the tree and watching the lights...

My Favourite Christmas Book

2005-12-15T16:04:00.000-08:00

This has got to be one of the best Christmas books EVER and not just because it features a very lovely feline. The Door Opener likes it too, but it's my VERY FAVOURITE. We read it every year, so I hope she sends the Can Opener downstairs to find that box of Christmas books soon. Maybe I'll go in the living room and stare at him for awhile. Even if he doesn't know exactly what I want, it messes with his head and that's always a good time!

PSYCHIC MESSAGE TO FLESHIES: Time to read A Pussycat's Christmas and give Musette some tuna juice...

What cat wouldn't want these?

2005-12-12T11:05:00.000-08:00

I guess it's time to start working on my Christmas list. I wonder if I should add "monkey that can fit in a teacup" to my list? I'd love my very own monkey! I hear they're delicious.

A pet dog, on the other hand, would be very handy to have around the house. I could order him to do all the things I don't feel like doing. Sometimes it seems I'm giving judgemental looks 24 hours a day. If there's a dog that can be trained to give judgemental looks, then I deserve to own that dog. Think of how much time I could devote to my other projects!

Maybe I'll send away the coupon from this ad. I'm sure there's no catch.

Admire Me! Adore Me!

2005-12-10T09:33:00.000-08:00

18 days, 4 hours and 29 minutes to go...

2005-12-06T19:22:00.000-08:00

It's starting to look a lot like Christmas here at Maison Musette! We cats have been so helpful with all the decorating and of course we've been working on our letters to Santa. I've been EXTRAORDINARILY good this year, so I know I'm going to get some fabulous presents. I'm trying my best not to growl or whine or hiss or give judgmental looks, and believe me, with the chumps I live with this is HARD. But it will all be worth it on Christmas morning when my stocking is filled with all the things that bring me joy...

We're Not Dumb

2005-12-01T13:59:00.000-08:00

This is what is happening outside. Snow! Can you believe it. I'm thoroughly disgusted and having nothing to do with it. Grotesque and completely uncalled for. I MAY live in Canada, but that doesn't mean we live in one of those barbaric climates where there is SNOW in Winter. The most I usually have to put up with is rain. A little snow on Christmas is nice (23 days, 9 hours and 52 minutes!) but on December 1st I expect something better. But Zeph and I aren't dumb (well, Zephyr IS dumb, but not about this) and we're staying close to the fire today and I'm not even asking to go out. Isn't Zephyr flexible? Sometimes we think he has no bones. He's so soft and squishy and he can really stretch when he needs to. Hope you all are warm wherever you are!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2005-11-24T08:49:00.000-08:00

Just wishing a good Thanksgiving to my readers from south of the 49th Parallel. We had Thanksgiving last month in Canada, but I may try to scrounge up a bird for dinner tonight anyway.

Hope your Thanksgiving is Turducken-filled, my American friends!

Step Right Up!

2005-11-19T12:31:00.000-08:00

And watch my fur-brother step out of our world into another dimension. Don't do it, Zephyr! It's a trap!

They're easier to play if you have opposable thumbs

2005-11-14T08:42:00.000-08:00

Are you familiar with the phrase that goes something like, "That's as difficult as herding cats?" Now, why anybody would ever dare to herd the most noble and independent creature on the planet is beyond me. But here's a videogame that's kind of like herding cats. This fellow Ferry Halim has designed almost 50 of the most elegant and fun-but-frustrating online videogames you're likely to find. The music and sound effects in them are just delightful. And they're all free! Kind of makes you wonder what he's up to. . .

http://www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/g3/cats.htm

The Door Opener's favourite game is the uber-charming "Chicken Wings Are Not For Flying." If the guy isn't going to design any more games featuring cats, I guess the poultry-based ones would be my next favourite.

http://www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/g3/chicken.htm

But they're all pretty good.

http://www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/

Rain, Rain, Go Away...

2005-11-09T17:09:00.000-08:00

I'm tired of all this rain. The sun never shines anymore and every single day is cold and wet. I want summer back and I want it back NOW. If I knew who to hiss at, I'd do it. I think the fleshies are responsible for the weather somehow...

Take a Nap!

2005-11-06T15:12:00.000-08:00

My peeps are always so BUSY. Very un-catlike of them. They get the urge to do something and then they spend the entire day bothering me and interrupting my routine. I hate that. When they get some dumb idea in their large fleshy brains (something absurd like painting my bathroom), they should just take a nap until the urge passes. Who cares if the bathroom is offensively peach and hasn't been painted since the eighties? I LIKED that bathroom! My box was in there and the room didn't need painting. I liked to drink out of the tap and it smelled just right! Now my box is out in the hallway, I'm not allowed in the bathroom even if I'm really thirsty for drippy tap water and it's really stinky up there. Stupid peeps.

November is all about RAIN

2005-11-03T15:18:00.000-08:00

Psychic Message to Fleshies: I know you know I'm here. Now LET ME IN.

It's cold and really windy and off and on rainy today and I keep thinking I want outside, but then once I'm out, I'm absolutely sure that I want in and QUICKLY. I've done this about...14 times so far today. I don't know why the Door Opener is getting so testy about it. It IS her job, after all. She also gets very impatient when I stand halfway in and halfway out the door. I'm trying to decide! Give the Empress some time to make up her mind!

More Pumpkins!

2005-11-01T20:45:00.000-08:00

Here are some more of our pumpkins. I think the one on the left looked kind of hypnotized. The Door Opener is pretty handy with the pumpkin knife. I would have helped, but I don't like getting my beautiful white paws icky.

Happy Halloween!

2005-10-31T15:26:00.000-08:00

Happy Halloween to all my faithful readers, both furry and fleshy! If you are of the furry persuasion I hope you keep yourself safe tonight. Staying inside is best but if you have to be out, don't even think about talking to strangers. If you do end up out, try finding the littlest kid you can and then steal their candy. I've heard candy is REALLY GOOD, even though those lousy peeps have never given me any. I think it must be flavoured with tuna and cheese and spiders and cream if everyone thinks it's so delicious. Zephyr and I will be spending the evening downstairs sleeping on the bed and eating the exotic basement food (they say it's the same old crunchies, but it just tastes DIFFERENT). I haven't even wanted to go out lately - it's raining way too hard and those dumb fireworks are just too loud. Right after Halloween we can start counting how many days until Christmas, right?

Finally

2005-10-26T13:58:00.000-07:00

FINALLY those peeps are letting us have a fire every night. I was COLD and I was resorting to SNUGGLING every single night. So very wrong when I should be roasting my furry white belly in front of the fire. Ahhhhhhh...that's SO GOOD.

That Time of Year

2005-10-26T13:50:00.000-07:00

Not too much to blog about these days. I'm mostly just doing lots of hanging around the house and getting outside in between rain showers. I did hear a rumour that I might not be allowed out AT ALL this weekend. Something about that bizarre knocking-on-doors-and-begging festival that they have every October. The peeps say that bad things happen to good cats around Halloween sometimes, so they'd like me to stay home and be safe. I'm sure I'll complain about it (a lot) but I know that it's best for me. If I COULD go out though I think I would go trick-or-treating and see if I could get myself a giant bag full of cheese. Mmmmm....cheeeeeese. It's the best treat in the world. And who could resist a sweet face like this? I wouldn't even need a costume. Although a teeny tiara would be nice...

My Scaredy-Cat Brother

2005-10-24T08:21:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty much fearless. That's a well-known fact. But did you also know that, as I am to fearlessness, my fur-brother is to fearfulness? It's true.

Case in point: a knock at the front door. The Door Opener walked over to open the door (because that's what she's good at). From halfway across the room, Zephyr peeked his head slowly around the sofa to see what was going on. When he saw who had knocked, he tore off across the house, his feet spinning out from under him, desperate to escape the evil figure he saw at the door.

And exactly who was it at the door?

A Girl Guide* selling cookies.

Yes, my fur-brother is terrified of 9-year old girls bearing boxes of their chocolately mint delectables.

I'd be more mortified, but I'm too busy trying to knock one of the boxes off the kitchen counter so it'll break open and I can sample the contents.

*Americans probably know them as Girl Scouts.

The Humiliated Feline

2005-10-18T08:16:00.000-07:00

Once my peeps were watching an MSNBC documentary about a frightening trio of singing sisters called "Triple Image" (long forgotten in North America, but perhaps still big in Japan). These diminutive demons had one particularly catchy song that became lodged in our brains. As the documentary ended, to my horror, the Can Opener picked me up under my shoulders and stood me on my hind feet, making me dance as he sang that insipid song at the top of his lungs.

I'll never forget the humiliation. When he put me down, I ran upstairs in shame.

He's never done it since, though he's occasionally tempted.

But I don't think he wants to see my eyes tear up like that again.

I was reminded of that horrible moment when I watched this and found yet another song that will take way too long to leave my head.

I'm not really fond of music.

(Thanks to Timmy for the link!)

Trip to the Vet

2005-10-15T20:58:00.000-07:00

Well, Zeph and I had our yearly trip to the nice Vet today to have our check-ups and get our shots. This is a picture of us on the way home - Zephyr didn't feel like having his picture taken. I was a VERY good girl. I got in the carrier without a fuss (Zephyr braced himself and made it hard for the peeps to get him in). I didn't cry in the car (Zephyr sounded like he was being tortured). I even licked the Vet and laid down on the table for some belly-rubs (Zephyr cried some more and then hid his face in the Door Opener's elbow). I thought it was a pretty fun adventure all in all (although the shot part wasn't all that pleasant), but Zephyr really likes his routine, so he was really sad to have to leave the cat bed. The Vet declared us both just the right weight. I can't believe she thinks that behemoth is "just right". After the Vet we even got to ride in the car to pick up Uncle Glen and then I got to help him and the Can Opener shingle the house all afternoon. BIG FUN. They couldn't have done it without me!

The Rules

2005-10-13T16:42:00.000-07:00

The mantel is one of the places I'm not "allowed". Ha! Like those stupid fleshies can really tell me what to do. I make my OWN rules!

Rule #1: Cats are allowed anywhere cats want to go!
Rule #2: What Musette says, goes.
Rule #3: Treats are for sharing.
Rule #4: When Musette wants OUT Musette goes OUT.
Rule #5: When Musette wants IN Musette comes IN.
Rule #6: Toilet seats should always be left UP and shower doors left OPEN.
Rule #7: Never wake up a cat.
Rule #8: Fleshies should never go out of town without having Uncle Glen take care of the felines.
Rule #9: Musette sits on your lap when she feels like it, not when you want her to.
Rule #10: NO NEW CATS.
Rule #11: The fleshies should eat more tuna and give the cats the juice.
Rule #12: It is NOT funny to make the cats run into things with the laser pointer.
Rule #13: If you don't want your clothes slept on then put them away.
Rule #14: Everything is a cat toy.
Rule #15: Musette gets to pick her place on the bed and everyone else just has to find a way to fit in.
Rule #16: Musette reserves the right to hiss at anyone not doing what they should be doing.
Rule #17: The door to the basement should always be left open.
Rule #18: All the furniture is for scratching.
Rule #19: The blue chair and the black loveseat both belong to the cats. No humans should sit there.
Rule #20: The cat bed should never be washed.

Can you help me think up more rules? I'm sure there have to be some I'm forgetting.

Thankful

2005-10-11T15:01:00.000-07:00

My fur brother Zephyr is NOT as cute or pretty or stunningly gorgeous as me, but I suppose he's handsome in his own way, so here's a picture for you.

Not much to post today - everyone here at Casa Empress is in a bit of a turkey coma. Yes - it was Thanksgiving in the True North Strong and Free and the peeps came back from the Grandma's place bearing large amounts of that most glorious of avian victuals - turkey. The smell of turkey drives me WILD so I've been demanding some every time the humans eat any (which is pretty often). Delicious.

I'm still holding out for turducken for Christmas. Surely there is no more perfect food in the world.

I'm thankful for Zephyr. And my peeps. And baby birds. And tuna juice. And sunny weather. And being able to go outside and inside and outside and inside as much as I want. And fires in the fireplace. And the water at the bottom of the shower. And the laser pointer. And the very thought of turducken. And the cat bed. And of course, all of YOU!

Meet The Less Universally Beloved Musette

2005-10-08T00:04:00.000-07:00

Actually, her name is "Mewsette," so we don't really share the same name. Mine is spelled differently. I personally find the way she spells hers to be a little too obvious, but what do you expect for a cartoon cat?

Yes, when they named me, the peeps were aware of the 1962 animated film, "Gay Purr-ee," which features Judy Garland as the voice of lovely Mewsette, a country cat who finds big trouble in the big city of Paris, France.

This movie is notable for many things. The songs are written by the duo who wrote the tunes for "The Wizard Of Oz" (which is apparently a popular movie despite the dearth of kitties in its cast). The movie was created by Chuck Jones, who made all the best "Looney Toons" films. And "Gay Purr-ee" impressively captures that unique "je-ne-sais-quoi" possessed by The City Of Lights. (Don’t ask me to translate that phrase – I don’t know what it means.)

The peeps own this movie and recommend it to all feline fanciers. It’s widely available on DVD and VHS. These lovely pictures are from the Big Golden Book that came out at the time of the movie.

Here's a treat for my friends and fans, from the soundtrack of "Gay Purr-ee!" Sung by Robert Goulet (as the voice of the love-lorn Jaune-Tom), "Mewsette" isn't my theme song, but it's the closest thing you'll find to it in the Robert Goulet songbook.

Click here to listen to the Mewsette song (or right-click and Save)! Mewsette.mp3

Snugglepalooza

2005-10-06T22:23:00.000-07:00

My fur brother Zephyr and I can still manage to snuggle in our cat bed, but that boy had better stop growing...We both go to see our supernice Vet next week for our yearly check-up, so we'll see just how humungously huge he's gotten. Last time I was 9 pounds and he was 11 pounds and he's been doing some growing since then, but no matter how much he weighs I'll ALWAYS be the boss of him.

It's Getting Cold Out Here

2005-10-03T17:53:00.000-07:00

Psychic message to fleshies: LET ME IN.

How I Found My Home: The Series

2005-09-30T17:06:00.000-07:00

Here, in one easy-to-navigate post, are all the entries in my saga. Enjoy them all!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6: Conclusion

Autumn

2005-09-29T15:21:00.000-07:00

Well, as I predicted the rain has started. Where I live it rains pretty well all the time from October to about April, so I'm pretty used to it. Those chumps want to wait as long as possible before they light a fire or turn on the furnace, but IT'S REALLY COLD IN HERE. I don't want to have to resort to SNUGGLING just to keep warm if I don't have to. I did snuggle the girl on the couch last night for more than an hour, but I swear I'm just doing it for the body heat - not because I NEED snuggling or pats or affection or anything like that.

Come on peeps - a fire in the fireplace - you know you want to! Oh, and how I love to roast my furry white belly by the fire. It's my favourite part of winter.

How I Found My Home: Conclusion

2005-09-28T08:12:00.000-07:00

I had definitely found my home-for-life, and I had received my first thorough veterinary examination. The Can Opener had gone around the neighbourhood and torn down the “We Found A Kitty” signs that hadn’t already been removed or covered up. The only thing that was left was a name. Though only a (relatively) small kitten, I had already established my regal manner. All who gazed upon me were in awe of my magnificence. What name to bestow on an Empress?

The peeps made a list. This list of two-dozen names came from all manner of sources and inspirations. Days went by without a decision. The lists were updated, ordered by preference and discussed at length.They weighed the pros and cons of each name. “What do you think of Esmerelda?” “I’m not sure. Let’s call her that for the next hour and see how it feels.”

I was not an Esmerelda. Or a Jinx. Or a Suzy Lee. Or a Mignon. Or a Zephyr ('cause that's a boys name!) Or any of the many other names they considered.

Finally and thankfully, I was deemed to be Musette. It was the Can Openers favourite and it just seemed to suit me so well. Why Musette? Well, one of its meanings is a lovely but rather meloncholy form of French accordion music. If you think about Paris, the only soundtrack you can possibly have in your head is musette. And if there’s one thing the Door Opener likes, it’s accordion music. She thinks she'd like to have an accordian and learn how to play it, but we cats think that's a BAD IDEA. Mostly I think she just wants one becaue she thinks she'd look "cool" holding it. Silly humans. And the name Musette has connotations of class and elegance even if you don't know what it means. The peeps took a big long trip to Paris before they met me and they have an appreciation for all things French. Enough said. Plus, it’s got the “Mew” sound that I’ve been known to make on occasion. But you had already figured that part out, hadn’t you, dear reader? You’re a smart one, you are. There is also a Mewsette who I have some connection with too - maybe I'll write another post about her soon...

Well, I suppose that’s it. A home, a name, a bowl-full of kibble always sitting in my corner of the kitchen. My needs are few. Life is good.

There’s more I could write about - like how I came to love the outside again (after my previous scary experiences). And of course I could write a book about the tumultuous time Zephyr came to live with us. But I’ll leave that for another occasion. I have the feeling the recent mild weather is almost over, so I’m going to make the best of the nice days we’ve been having and head outside.

How I Found My Home: Part Five

2005-09-25T15:48:00.000-07:00

Sorry I've been so long in continuing my story. The fall weather has been SOOOO nice and I've been spending ALL my days outside. I know that very soon the rain will come and I'll be spending lots of time in front of the fire, so I need to enjoy the sunshine while I can...

So...10 days went by and nobody had come to claim me, so I had found my new home! The peeps took me to the super nice Veterinarian who only treats cats and everyone there oohed and ahhed over how pretty I was and they said that I was very healthy and a very BIG and TALL girl and that I was much younger than I looked. I was really excited because I knew that I had gotten VERY lucky and had found myself a happy home with some peeps who were really growing to love me and who would take care of me and wait on me and treat me like the Empress I am forever. The fleshies thought it was BAD TIMING, but they couldn't have given me up then - they were too smitten. They were planning to get a kitten in the summer, after they finished the worst of the house renovations, but I came along in the autumn, so I had to endure months of electricians, drywallers, cabinet installers and other assorted men taking over MY house and making me stay locked up in the den while they made lots of noise and dust. It was okay though - I didn't know about outside yet, so I was happy to play with all my great toys and sleep on the girl's lap while she worked on the computer and watched TV and read (she was hiding from the men too). I was a VERY loving and cuddly kitten...and a very bitey one, I must admit. The picture above may look like I'm just sweetly licking the hand of the Can Opener, but in fact I'm biting him - HARD. And when I was done biting him I was probably going to claw him too. Nobody had ever taught me to be gentle and I was VERY playful (okay, maybe a little crazy too), so I used to get in trouble for attacking the hands and feet of the fleshies. It was just so much FUN and so very tempting... Sometimes I would hide and stalk them and as they walked by I would leap out and wrap myself around their ankles, holding on tight with my claws and fangs. That was SO!MUCH!FUN! and I really do wish they were okay with it, because I'd still kind of like to do it... but they taught me that it wasn't okay and that TOYS were for playing, not peeps.

There was only one small problem... At the Vet they had to put "Unknown" where my name should have been on my records because the peeps just couldn't decide what I should be called...

To Be Continued...

How I Found My Home: Part Four

2005-09-19T18:35:00.000-07:00

So there I found myself in what I hoped was my happy new home. I LIKED it there - lots of snuggling (I was a very SNUGGLY kitten) lots of playing (I was a CRAZYCRAZY kitten) and lots of food (I was a HUNGRY kitten). My peeps think that maybe I didn't get fed at my first house because I would steal and hide food any chance I got and I would eat ANYTHING. That first Halloween I even stole and ate all the guts out of the pumpkin! I would cry and cry when the fleshies were having human food or when they were cooking. It took me awhile, but I learned that the bowl is always full of delicious crunchies and that the can arrives every morning, so I never have to stoop as low as eating VEGETABLES to keep my belly full. My fleshies wondered a lot about my first home and they had some guesses about it. I was found right across the street from a big park with woods and they think it's possible that someone left me in those woods. How terrible! I hope if they left my brothers and sisters there too that all of them found happy homes. I can hardly bear to think about it! The girl human went and looked around the park thinking that I might not have been alone there, but she didn't find anything. They also think that maybe I could have come from a house near where I was found that always has LOTS of new kittens every year and cats all over the place. Maybe they knew I was gone but they were glad to be rid of me. My peeps knew that in my first house I spent a lot of time around people, because I wasn't afraid of anything and I knew all about how kitchens were where the food came from, that human laps were good for pats and that in the bed snuggled into the neck or between the knees of the girl was the perfect place to spend the night. However I came to find myself on that busy street, no one seemed to be looking for me. The posters were up all over the neighbourhood, the SPCA and the City Pound both had my description, but nobody was calling. The peeps said that they weren't getting attached to me at all. They wouldn't even give me a name. They just called me "Kitty" or "Baby" or "That Insane Kitten". They decided to give it 10 days and if I hadn't found my home they would "think" about keeping me forever. Who were they kidding? They were TOTALLY in love with me almost right away and couldn't help but get attached. As the 10 days crawled by, they even began to hope that nobody was crying over me and when the phone rang they always looked a little worried...

To Be Continued...

How I Found My Home: Part Three

2005-09-17T13:45:00.000-07:00

The boy peep remained convinced (because I was such a beautiful cat) that somebody simply had to have been looking for me, but they gave my description to the SPCA and heard nothing back. "We have to alert the neighbourhood," the peeps said. "If this was our kitten, we'd be heartbroken if she was missing!" So the boy made a poster and walked up and down nearby streets, putting it up on telephone poles and bulletin boards, sure in the belief that my owners would see the poster and come to pick me up.

But after a few days, they still hadn't heard from my owners.

To be continued...

2005-09-14T20:57:00.000-07:00

So cute, no?

How I Found My Home: Part Two

2005-09-14T20:31:00.000-07:00

So there I was - alternating between making a break for the hedge and being hissed and swatted at by the mean cats, running out into traffic and huddling in the gutter. I was SCARED and I didn't know what to do and none of the humans going by on the sidewalk would stop and help me! But then I saw someone coming...she had 3 bags of groceries and she saw me from a long way off and she looked worried... When she got to where I was she stopped to talk to me. She told me that I was too little to be outside and too little to be on the street and that I was going to get splatted. Like I didn't already know all that!!! She tried to get me to scoot into the yard, thinking that was my home, but then she realized that the bad cats weren't going to let me come in. She knew that if she left me there, I would keep running out into the road to get away from those cats and that I would surely be killed. A kind-hearted and kitty-loving girl she was, and she couldn't bear to think about my sweet self under the wheels of a car. So she scooped me up with one hand and picked up all 3 bags of her groceries with the other. I was so scared and so happy to be UP, that I just snuggled right into her chest and I didn't struggle at all. She could feel my little heart beating fast. She was sure that a nice kitten like me must have a good home and was surely just lost, so she knocked on all the doors on that street, but I didn't belong at any of those houses. What else could she do but take me home? I kept my face snuggled into her sweater the whole trip - I wouldn't even look around. It took about 5 minutes for us to get home and I was SO glad to be there. I was still really scared though. I missed my cat Mama and my brothers and sisters and I wasn't over the trauma of being out in the street, so I insisted that my new peep hold me ALL DAY. She couldn't even put me down for a minute or I would cry and cry. The girl phoned the boy at work and told him all about me and told him to bring home kitten food and litter. They agreed that I was so pretty and so sweet that I MUST have humans that were missing me a lot, so they planned ways to find my family. But it proved to be harder than they thought...

To be continued...

How I Found My Home: Part One

2005-09-13T18:18:00.000-07:00

Two years ago at this time I was just a tiny wee kitten. The cutest kitten ever? Probably. But not cute enough for my first family to keep me. I don't really remember much about those days or the humans or cats that shared my start in life. I'm sure I had a very beautiful Mama who was maybe a lovely mackerel tabby like me. And I'm sure I had some fun brothers and sisters to play with. And I think I remember being hungry sometimes. I don't like remembering that. I do remember the day the female fleshy rescued me from certain death and brought me to this great place to be a part of this family.

It was a sunny October day and I was just a wee slip of a 9 week old kitten. Too young to be away from my Mama and way too young to be all alone out in the big scary world, but that's where I found myself. I was on a busy street and I was in BIG TROUBLE. The worst part is that there were a couple of MEAN grown-up cats who kept trying to chase me out into the traffic. I was REALLY scared and didn't know what to do. The yard that was there looked like it had some nice, safe hedges that I could hide in until I figured out what I was going to do, but those BAD cats wouldn't let me anywhere near it and were trying to chase me out under the wheels of all the cars and buses on the busy street. I was scared of all the giant cars whizzing by, so mostly I just huddled in the gutter. Occasionally I would make a run for the other side of the road - there was a nice quiet park there - but the cars would scare me and I'd run back to the sidewalk. But once I was on the sidewalk those cats would start to menace me again. It was a bad situation for a kitten (even one as smart as me). Some humans came by and they were worried about me and told me to be safe, but they DIDN'T HELP ME AT ALL. I was in a bad situation and it was getting worse all the time...

To be continued...

My Favourite Spot

2005-09-11T21:53:00.000-07:00

This is absolutely my favourite spot in the whole of outside. It's in the side garden underneath the laurel tree and I spend a lot of my time watching over the yard and sleeping in this perfect spot. I've worked hard to make this place just right. I pushed all the leaves and the mulch to the side and made myself a sweet little nest that is just Musette-shaped. Perfect. The fleshies did a lot of planting pretty close to my favourite spot this afternoon (I supervised, of course), but they know how much I adore my spot, so they left it for me. Good peeps. I like it when they do what they should.

I know, I know, You're all waiting for my story. Soon, my patient readers, soon!

Snuggletime!

2005-09-07T22:33:00.000-07:00

You didn't think I could stay mad at my fleshies did you? They're really very good to me you know...what with all the oh-so-savoury canned food, the in and out and in and out and in and out, the snuggles, the playing, the scritches and the general tolerance to all my many moods. They're pretty good peeps, all in all. Maybe soon I'll tell you the story of how I found my home here. It's a good story. Full of drama and suspense. And of course it has a happy ending!

I've Been VERY Good!

2005-09-04T18:00:00.000-07:00

3 months, 20 days, 6 hours until Christmas. I expect GOOD THINGS in my stocking this year. Maybe I should start working on my letter to Santa soon.

The Birthday Present

2005-09-04T17:41:00.000-07:00

I'm still a little apprehensive about my birthday mousie (yes, I did get a mousie tossed at me along with an "Oh yeah. Happy Birthday, I guess"). On my gift list I DID ask for a new mousie, but as you'll recall I asked for one with a TAIL. I like mousies with tails. Mousies should have tails. Look closely at the picture... as you can see from the photo, this mousie has FEATHERS growing out of it's posterior. I don't want to know what sort of bizarre and unsavoury nighttime dalliances went into producing a creature this strange. It's just wrong.

But I have been playing with it when I think they're not looking...

2005-09-02T22:48:00.000-07:00

So very, very mad. Still can't even talk about the trainwreck that was my birthday.

12:01 AM, September 2

2005-09-02T00:01:00.000-07:00

Spitting mad. I can't even talk about it now.

11:50 PM

2005-09-01T23:51:00.000-07:00

The Empress is not amused. No mention yet. But there's still ten minutes left in the day. If they're going to make me turducken, they had better get it in the oven NOW.

2:01

2005-09-01T14:01:00.000-07:00

Oh, I know what it must be - a surprise party planned for tonight! Wow, I bet it's going to be a huge blow-out, judging by the way people are so tight-lipped about it. The Grandma's indeed in town today, and so far, everybody's doing a fabulous job of remaining absolutely quiet about my most special of days. That takes effort, fleshies. Way to keep a secret!

9:21

2005-09-01T09:21:00.000-07:00

Very funny fleshies, very funny. They're trying to make me think that they've forgotten my birthday and don't have a fabulous party planned for me. So far they haven't even mentioned my big day and have just gone about their day like nothing is different. HA! I'm on to them! I KNOW that they HAVE to have something GIGANTIC planned for me. It's my birthday after all! It must be starting this afternoon. Maybe they had to fly in some of the guests...

It's Almost Here!

2005-08-31T17:55:00.000-07:00

Can you believe it??? Just one more sleep until my super great, ultra-deluxe, amazingly lavish, way cool, best-birthday-EVER. I'm SO excited I can barely sleep. I may only get 16 hours of snoozing in today! The peeps are going "out" tonight - working on birthday surprises for the Empress, I'm sure! I've also heard through my sources that The Grandma is coming tomorrow morning. Oh it's going to be SO! GOOD! A whole day where I'm the centre of attention - shouldn't every day be like that, really?

Tomorrow's the DAY!

2005-08-31T13:06:00.000-07:00

Yes, it is! My big birthday number TWO! The peeps must be really good at keeping a secret because they haven't let anything leak yet about their lavish plans, but I'm sure they've got something befitting an Empress planned. Today I think our list should be about PRESENTS in case any of the guests haven't finished up their shopping yet!

-New big cat bed, preferably leopard print 'cause it goes so nice with my fur
-Toy mousies with tails (I chew the tails off 'em pretty quick, so I always need a new one)
-Cat door! So I can go OUT whenever I want and I can bring IN anything I want. They always make me leave the good stuff outside.
-A LADDER so I can go up high into the cedar tree and ...visit... the baby birds in the spring
-A laser lackey, so I don't have to wait around for the Can Opener to "feel" like playing with me
-A really smelly pair of boots (my favourite toys!)
-A big pile of clean laundry to lay on and get nice and hairy
-Someone to help me catch the cursor. It frustrates me so much that I can't catch that tricky little thing!
-More houseplants. We used to have a lot more houseplants, but now we don't. They were a great salad bar for me. I don't know why the fleshies didn't replace them when I'd eaten my fill.
-A cute wee hamster! Or maybe a couple!
-Baby birds (oops, silly me, those baby birds should be on the GUEST LIST, I don't know why they keep showing up on other lists...)

Party Food!

2005-08-29T16:42:00.000-07:00

It can't be a big birthday extravaganza without some tasty treats, so here is the list of what I want to eat at my party -

-warm cream
-tuna juice with NO pills in it
-toilet water (mmmm...so good! I love the water from the indoor pond, but those fleshies always close the lid so I can never have it when I want)
-lobster (I've heard it's good)
-shrimp (I KNOW this is good)
-goat cheese
-maybe I'd like to try eating a goat too...their cheese is so tasty, they must be too
-tuna 'n egg canned food that hasn't been in the fridge
-grated cheddar cheese
-big hairy flies
-pork chop bones (I always try and get one of these but the peeps always thwart me)
-lots of baby birds (oops, that one is from the GUEST list, not the party food list! Silly me)

The Guest List

2005-08-26T11:29:00.000-07:00

I've been working on the list of who I want to come to my big birthday extravaganza! Here's who I've got so far...

Party Guests:

-Zephyr
-My Fleshies (I guess I have to invite them)
-Uncle Glen (I like the way he scritches me under the chin)
-Glennie's Mom (just because she likes me)
-That nice Mailman (who always tells me how pretty I am)
-The Grandma ('cause she spoils me)
-The Grandma's Friend ('cause she was nice to me when she was here)
-My nice Vet and her supernice technician (but I don't want them to bring any of those icky "healthy treats")
-Lots of baby birds
-I'd like to invite all you dear readers, but I know you live too far away

Who is NOT NOT NOT invited:

-My nemesis Moxie
-My doppleganger from across the street
-That neighbour who hosed me last summer (I haven't forgotten you...)
-Anyone who works at the Prednisolone factory
-The painters, the drywallers, the electrician or anyone else who caused me to be confined when I wanted to be free
-NO foster kitties
-Oscar and Belle (They're The Grandma's kitties - the came for Christmas and that was almost too much to bear. That traitor Zephyr PLAYED with them all week while I was busy hissing and giving them the evil eye)
-Any other neighbourhood cats (the only one I can stand is that big, handsome-in-a-torn-ear-mangy -kind-of-way, unneutered male that sprays all over our garden - for some reason I find him IRRESISTABLE)
-Russell Crowe (one time I saw him on TV and I scratched the TV REALLY hard, trying to get him out of there so I could eat him)

8 More Sleeps!

2005-08-24T17:28:00.000-07:00

Yes, that's right folks, it's just 8 more sleeps until your Empress has her BIRTHDAY. It's the big 2 for me and I'm extremely excited about my party! I don't know what the fleshies have planned, but I'm sure it's going to be LAVISH. Gifts galore. Visits from my favourite peeps. Snacks aplenty. That sort of thing. I deserve it don't I?

I love being the centre of attention.

What should I put on my birthday wish list? I've always thought I'd really enjoy a hamster. Oh! And if we had a goat then the peeps could make me goat cheese anytime I felt like it!

2005-08-24T17:27:00.000-07:00

Just a picture of Zephyr for your enjoyment.

I really don't mind this

2005-08-17T16:50:00.000-07:00

Ahhhh, it's good to have a friend to snooze with even if they can't keep their feet to themselves, but at least Zephyr doesn't kick in his sleep like the Can Opener does. That's why I sleep wedged between the Door Opener's knees or on her feet or sometimes even tucked up under her chin. I'm safe from the sleep twitching, jerking and kicking of the Can Opener there and it's warm and cozy and safe too.